Dear curious Alice could not help herself when she saw the White Rabbit dressed in a waist coat. She had to follow him just to be sure of herself. Poor Alice had no idea that when she peered into the rabbit hole she would find herself falling endlessly and landing in a place that would be so dreadful, delightful and filled with wonder.
I feel like I have fallen into my own Wonderland following the White Rabbit of my personal history. Without question, I knew that as an adoptee, choosing to access my original birth record would have me spiraling down a mysterious tunnel and meandering through a world that has simultaneously filled me with excitement and joy countered by fear and sadness.
Once I was able to see what was before me, names and faces I have never met (yet I resemble) in places I have known through other life experiences, I knew I needed to sort through this transition with paint. I set my camera aside, dusted off my easel and dragged out a blank canvas that had been in storage for five years. I had no idea what to paint. I had no images in mind so started by painting all 48 by 60 inches yellow.
I started at the bottom and worked my to half way through the canvas when I realized I had plenty of images I could place on the canvas. I opted to start at the beginning with an image related to my birth.
Why a painting in a photography site? Lately, my artistic heart has been spending a lot of time painting while my camera takes a little rest. I actually feel like my photography is benefiting from the break. Holding my camera is like reconnecting with a dear friend who also understands that as life changes so do our relationships with one another.
For now, painting is truly therapeutic as I move through this emotional adventure in my own version of Wonderland.